Blowin' in the wind

Last friday's plane ride was an unforgettable one for a variety of reasons. This being the tornado season, the rides are never very pleasant. And for a person who's scared of the turbulence(yours truly), it is always a nightmare. So I wasn't very pleased while heading towards the airport anyway. Besides, Detroit-Chicago being a short flight, the airlines always use the "puddle-jumpers" for the commute. These planes sway like the proverbial leaf in the slightest of the winds.

Anyway, I get to the airport and realize that my 7:45 flight has been delayed to to 10:30. Not willing to wait that long, I asked for a standby in the 7pm flight and thanks to my frequent flier status, I got the seat. The flight was dealyed to about 8:30.

I got a seat towards the back of the plane. I was cursing my luck about this when this hot babe sat down next to me. Now, this never-EVER happens to me. I always get the most unhappening companions. As I was looking out of the window to see if I could spot my guradian angel and give a personal thanks, I heard: "I think you are on my seat...". Knowing what awaited me, I told myself not to look but then curiosity got the better of me and I turned. Sure enough, my diet-companion had been swapped with a super-sized one. The physical distance between me and the other window seat kept me from wiping the stupid grin off the face of my ex-companion's new companion. It being a short-flight was my only consolation. (How much conversation will he be able to make in 45min anyway!)

As the grim realization dawned on me that I won't be getting much of the arm-rest tonight, I sunk further in my seat and settled for a snooze. About 10minutes from landing, I was shaken by a jolt. As I got up ready to punch the face of the "super-size", I realized the real cause.

On my side of the window, the sky was totally dark. I could see some lightening bolts in the distance too. I strained to look at the other side and saw that it was bright and sunny. It was very surreal, almost scenic in it's contrast. Just as we got closer to the ground, it started raining hard. The visibility was down to zero on my side with all the fog. Our plane started heading towards the ground at an angle of almost 45. Too steep for my liking. Suddenly the plane increased speed, chaneged course and started climbing at an angle of 45. The engines were groaning with the strain but we were going higher and higher. The turbulence was getting worse. Then the pilot's voice boomed: "As you saw, we couldn't make that one, we will be going back for another pass". This was crazy, we were gonna attempt that again!! Can't we stay up here for a while? But we did, and made a shaky but remarkable landing after some more bumps. Some people clapped when we got down. The pilot did an awesome job of controlling the plane.

After we got down, we thanked the pilot and asked him the reason for such a maneouver. He said: wind shear. Knowing that I won't like what I will see, I googled it today and came up with this...

wind shear - localised change in wind speed and/or direction over a short distance, resulting in a tearing or shearing effect, usually at low altitude, that can cause a sudden loss of airspeed with occasionally disastrous results if encountered when taking-off or landing.

More info:
http://www.geo.mtu.edu/department/classes/ge406/jmedward/windsheer/sheardef.htm

PS- One of these days, I am gonna write a long column on what all I am scared of...though I am a living breathing proof that confronting your fears doesn't help. Theoratically, if I had a penny for all the times that I have done things that I am scared of, I would be able to retire right now. But in reality, I am still broke and still phobic.

Comfortably numb

I have realized that our actions are conscious but their basis seldom is. This struggle that we always run away from is what keeps returning to us. To face it or to make it an excuse for what we could have been but are not , is in our hands.

As I complete 5 years in the same job, many a question spring forth in my usually barren mind. Have I become so comfortable here that I dread the change that another job might bring? Am I scared of having to prove myself again? But then isn't that what I do in every project I go to. Will it be very different with a new job? I know I work hard but is that certain spark missing? The spark that makes the difference between a job and a career?

I have never considered this job to be my career. Maybe that's the reason that I am unwilling to fight if things don't go my way. I give my best to every thing I do becuase I have to prove to myself that I can do it. I am my own toughest critic. But as soon as the inner me is satisfied that I can do it, I lose interest in the job.

I know for sure I won't be doing this job forever. Though I don't know (yet!) what I will do. But I am certain that this is not it. Once I had the ambition to go high, higher than the mountains whose tops are lost in clouds. Time has made a realist of me though.

Here's to finding new frontiers, to reaching for the moon, to looking at the sun with just my hand to shade my eyes and to aiming for the stars..."Ad Astra, Per Aspera".

Run Tintin Run

That's what life has become lately. An endless marathon. A race where there are no people midway to hand you a glass of water. I have been running so hard and so long and the checkered flag is nowhere in sight.

I have often wondered...can I slow down. Invariably, the answer is - do I want to? I have been in this mode for so long that I don't know otherwise. Life is a mad rush and I damn well like it that way.

I have always been a light sleeper. Think it is a waste of time to sleep too much when I can be doing so much more. I once calculated...if a person sleeps for 6 hrs a day all his life and gets to live to a hundred, he has spent about 25 yrs of his life just sleeping( a quarter of 100...get it?). On the other hand if a person sleeps for 8 hrs a day, that is about 33 1/3 yrs in bed!!! So if you shave off just two hours from your sleep everyday, you get over 8 yrs to do so much stuff. I know this is silly maths but somewhere somehow it struck a chord.

I know all the proponents to sleep will be sharpening their knives but hey, I am giving you just numbers...refute it if you can. And no, I am not planning to sleep only 4 hrs and save aother 8 yrs. I am human after all. Plus I love my bed too much to ignore it like that :-)

Maybe, one of these days, I will slow down to stuff a fistful of sky in this cluttered life. I will slow down to wish some secret wishes on the eyelashes that fall off to rest on the surprised cheeks. I will slow down and gaze through all this ozone layer to find my shooting star. I will slow down to play in the wet puddles and pile some wet sand on the beaches to pass them off as castles. I will slow down and follow the path of the fallen leaf as it floats away on water. Maybe, just maybe...

Dream on...

I have often wondered if there are any meanings to the dreams that I dream (the ones that happen during sleep. I know the meaning behind most of my day-dreams :-).

I know there have been many a study in this field and many people out there have got their PhD while dreaming, I mean, studying about dreams. But how does all that apply to me? Do people dream similar stuff (falling from heights, and my personal favorite-naked in the classroom etc) ? Do people only dream about things and places they already know? Do they always remember the dreams or do they mostly forget? Or does it differ from person to person?

I often forget my dreams. I dream about things and places that I don't recall seeing. If the dreams are a reflections of our sub-conscious mind then how can I dream about unknown things? Sometimes I wake up with a lingering feeling of what I dreamt about. I have often woken up feeling sad becuase of a dream although I can't remember anything about it. Sometimes when I go back to sleep, the dream goes on just like a movie post-intermission.

The most disturbing dream I have had concerns being on this lonely road...and it keeps coming back. And it is always the same road, same sequence of events. Though I can't remember much of it now, I know that it is the same when I dream it. It is disturbing becuase it happens again and again and the same thing. And I don't recall seeing that road ever. Nothing bad happens during the dream...I am just there. I am pretty sure if I see that road anywhere, I will recognize it...and that will be one scary moment!!