You

You know who you are and saying thank you would be too trite, too disrespectful, let me just say that you honored humanity's highest creed ever. Gratitude is not strong enough of a word to describe what I feel. Favors such as this can never be returned – it demeans the act, so generous, so grand, so unselfish.

If somebody up there is keeping an account, I will gladly vouch for the accuracy of yours. I wish you good things, only good things.

Trial and error

I tried. Tried a few times. Didn't have the courage to re-live the moments. I knew all along that it will be tough, but I couldn't even imagine that it was going to be so hard on me. I tried to write about what happened but couldn't.

The throat keeps choking, there is a burning sensation in the nose and the eyes just get misty. Whenever I started writing, I had to stop soon becuase my vision was blurred by those tears streaming down my cheek. I have decided that I don't want to write down what I went through. I don't want to transcribe what I still have nigthmares about. This shall forever remain locked in the deepest darkest dungeons of my memories, with the faint hope that time will make me misplace the keys or atleast forget the way through the maze leading to it.

I am not even sure if my rudimentary knowledge of the language gives me the depth and the breadth to describe the emotions that I felt. No language in the world can do justice to the feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt not read about.

Human emotions are such a fickle thing. The more you want to forget, the more it keeps coming back to haunt you. I will write a piece (instead of the three I promised) about my long absence. My way of expressing my gratitude to the one who gave me my words. Not sure when I will write it, not sure if it will be my very next piece. But it is out there....as soon as I get the strength to hold back these tears.

Explanations and Excuses

I know I have been away for way too long now. So much has happened in the intervening time and I have so much to say that I am not sure all will fit in one blog. I think I will break it into three pieces. I have been trying to put off writing all this(Besides the fact that I was genuinely busy).

Words are tripping over each other waiting to get out, a jumbled mess is what they has become. The words are shouting, each one louder than the one before in an effort to be heard. But these are the words that I wish I didn't even have to think, much less write. It pains my heart to realize that what I have feared most in the last few years, has come true. But even in my wildest dreams I couldn't imagine that the reality will be so much harder...