Doesn't look like success is much of one either. Lately, I feel that the only thing I succeed at is failing spectacularly at everything.
The work doesn't seem to be getting any better. There seems to be no end to this tunnel. Sometimes I feel like I have tapped out. I have risen to the max level I would. Makes me almost start count the days to when i would be done with corporate world. Some of the people around me holding titles better than me do give me hope that I can do better but looking inward, it makes me wonder if I should make peace with where I am. This can't be it, can it?
I have broken contact with a bunch of friends and acquaintances the last couple of years. Lost and never to be revived sort of way. I believe I was not wrong in all cases but the aggregate number is troubling. Not many left. Not many left to offend. I am trying to be careful when I talk to the remaining ones for fear of losing them. This might not be it, is it?
Personal life seems to be going downhill. I am often asked to change everything about me. Change who I am. Feels too late. Or I am too stubborn or I don't admit I need change. For all the selfless attitude I project, maybe, deep down, I am a very selfish man. Either I change who I am or I change who I project who I am. Trying to speak less at home. Seems to be a better way. Hard though. How do I not be myself all day everyday. Has my true self run it's course already. This shouldn't be it, is it?
