A liftoff and a re-entry into the orbit

 The firstborn left for college last week. Mixed emotions. I am glad for the opportunity for her to grow up and also worried if I prepared her well for it. Did I equip her to not make any of the mistakes I made? What if she is homesick? How will she feed herself? What if there is illness? How do I ever let go?

 Makes me respect my parents that much more. How did they let me go 25 years ago when we didn't have smartphones. Forget smartphone, I landed with no phone at all. How did they say goodbye to me at the airport not even knowing how I will contact them upon landing? How was I so casual that I didn't call them hours after landing? Sorry mom and dad, every step my kids take makes me want to apologize for how flippant I was about all your worries about me. 

The kid will be fine. She has been battle hardened with all the travels she has done so far. She will make me proud. I am fairly certain of that...

Totally unrelated to her leaving home, an interesting development happened...

Someone I haven't heard from in forever reached out because she got my contact from a common friend. Now, I hadn't thought of her in years but, coincidentally, an asshole of a friend had brought her name up while trying to dish some dirt on me. I had felt nothing when he did except anger at him for misrepresenting a lot of stuff. Her name didn't even garner a second thought.

When she reached out, I didn't give it much thought. We chat on Whatsapp almost every weekend (well, it's only been 4-5 weekends) and I feel absolutely nothing for her. Zero, Zilch, Nada. She is opening up week over week but the only feeling I have is - I am glad I didn't pursue it enough for something to come out of it. Not sure why I consciously hide the messages from my wife though.

She may be visiting my city soon and I have asked her if she can find time to meet. If it does materializes, will I be forthcoming with my wife or come up with some excuse? Also, why did I plant the seed that wifey should go visit our daughter about the time when this blast from past is supposed to happen?