This will almost certainly be the last post for the year. No real reason to write this except, I thought I should write an end of year post where I know it is end of year post. So there's that...
Heading to birth country next week. Equal parts trepidation, excitement, apprehension, concern and possibly most every other emotion known to humankind. Even though this trip is 5 years after the last one, I am hoping I get some time for introspection. There are some questions only I can answer and some answers only I can question.
Career feels like it is at a a standstill. I know there will be no upward mobility but am I too fearful t make the move outside. How do I even do it? Should I wait for the right thing to fall in my lap? Will I have the wisdom to say no to what may not be right? What I know for sure is that I can't be sitting this time next year at the same place. Something has to give. There have been way too many unhappy days but no one to talk to them about. Whosoever said that success is a very lonely pursuit probably didn't know enough about failure.
While I don't believe I am an abject failure, I do think I haven't come close to what I could have or even what I wanted to achieve. Though, if you ask me, I can't even tell you what "it" is, I know I haven't come close to achieving "it". I seem to have developed a whole new defeatist attitude. I am hoping that the next gig changes it. I am pretty sure I wasn't like this 2 jobs ago.
So much for the holiday season post. Oh well, the vacation should be good. Time to spend the time with the loved ones.
Let's see what the new year has in store for us.
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