The Summer Freeze

 I was watching a webseries today where this lady who goes out for a date with a gray-ish kind of character tells him at the end of the date to not mention it to anyone. It triggered a thought...

Quite a few moons ago, I wrote my one and only love letter to this girl who turned me down. What I didn't mention then is that she contacted me after that letter to ask for an internship in the company I was working at at that time. I don't even know how we did this pre-email and pre-cellphone days but we somehow figured out a day and time to meet.

We met at this small restaurant near my office. She looked resplendent in this dark gray salwar-suit. I somehow could not put 2 decent sentences together in English (not much has changed since then regarding my capability). Some things stick out though.

She mentioned that she was in a relationship with her classmate. I mentioned his name. She was surprised I knew. I told her that everyone knew and I hope she is happy etc (what is this nonsense? I hope that the guy gets serious rash on nether areas or, better still, his penis withers and drops off). 

She mentioned that she loves ice cream. I didn't then and probably still don't really. But I have often thought about this. I hope she controlled her sugar intake in the intervening years. 

Out of the blue, she asked me to not mention my infatuation with her to anyone. I was taken aback. That made no sense. Why should she be embarrassed about my feelings towards her. Was she unsure of her relationship? Was he jealous of me? Was there gossip about me and her in the hostel? Would things have been different if I had talked to her more during all the chance encounters? Would I have preferred it that way? Weirdly, in all these years, when I try to think of alternate reality, she is not the one I think about.

At the end of the meal, I walked her to the bus stop. As we were waiting for the bus, I saw this small sweat drop trickling from behind her ear and down her neck (half a lifetime later, it is still a very vivid memory for some reason). Since I didn't have anything to wipe it with, I had this weird thought of licking it (half a lifetime later, it is still a very vivid memory for some reason). Glad I didn't.

Anyway....she left shortly after. I saw her go knowing fully well that I will probably never see her again. And I was (and am) ok with it. I should have been devastated but I actually felt liberated. Went back to the office and doubled down on flirting with another girl in the office within the next hour...