Time happens...

 Well...the last post wasn't the last post it seems. Looks like I have one more in me. Wondered if I should do it this week or next but who knows what the next weekend will look like so this is might be the last one for the year.

I think I am at a point where counting in weeks doesn't make sense anymore. Months might be a better metric from now on. 7 is where we are right now.

On the positive side- there have been tons of interviews but nothing that has resulted in an offer. There aren't many weeks without an interviews but it is all pointless till I have an offer in hand. Sure, some are the kid of jobs that would have crushed the soul very soon after starting but I wonder if it would be any worse than the soul crushing time right now. The perspective has changed since spouse lost her job. 

The interview process has been eye-opening. Sometimes I am aware that I am begging and I feel pathetic but what choice do I have? 

I think, most of my life, I have cared very little about what anyone thinks about me. However, 2 job losses in 5 years makes me wonder what my kids think about me. In due time, I hope they will understand that no matter now incompetent flawed their father is/was, he is still a good human being.

The saga continues...

 26 weeks and counting...

No light at the end of the tunnel. Not even the light from an oncoming train. Maybe the oncoming train is behind me. My better half lost her job yesterday. The severance will see us through a few weeks but future is a big bad unknown after that.

With each passing week, it is harder to keep the morale (up) but I keep trying. On my daily walks, with time to contemplate, there are occasions where I feel I am trying to walk through a knee deep sea of molasses. Every step feels too heavy, every breath feels too labored and every heartbeat feels like it is trying to pump more than it is capable of. 

If it wasn't for the family, I might have given up already though I would have had a smaller cushion so maybe not. Conversely, without the family, I may have felt less of a failure. What I am saying is that it is hard, would have been hard, regardless of the state. 

I still don't know where and when this will end. Almost makes you wonder about the choices you make in life. 

This maybe the last post of the year...